Frank Zappa: "Muffin Man"

Song: "Muffin Man"

Written by: Frank Zappa

Performed by: Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention

Appears on: "Bongo Fury" (1975); "Strictly Commercial: The Best of Frank Zappa" (1995); several other collections and live albums

In the Spring of 1975 Frank Zappa and his famed Mothers went on tour with long-time collaborator Captain Beefheart. The "mostly live" Bongo Fury came out in October of the same year. The album concludes with a bit of Zappa absurdity that would become a concert favorite in years to come.

Muffin Man consists of three separate segments, a studio-recorded preamble and a live chorus followed by an extended guitar solo. In it Zappa tells of the Muffin Man, more a muffin scientist than an ordinary muffin enthusiast, who takes a break from his important work at the Utility Muffin Research Kitchen to expound of the glories of his most beloved pastry. Of course Muffin Man's real greatness comes not from the amusing story, but from Zappa's transcendent guitar.

Zappa was a legendarily talented and prolific artist who willed himself to the outer limits of popular music. He is remembered for his humorous, crude and confrontational lyrics, dedication to the rights of free speech, and contempt for the musical mainstream, but is sometimes overlooked as a guitar player. With a devilish Gibson SG, he produced some of the most frantically explosive guitar work ever committed to vinyl. "Muffin Man" stands as the greatest testament to his virtuosity.

"Muffin Man"

Narrator: The Muffin Man is seated at the table in the laboratory of the Utility Muffin Research Kitchen. Reaching for an oversized chrome spoon, he gathers an intimate quantity of dried muffin remnants and, brushing his scapular aside, proceeds to dump these inside of his shirt.

He turns to us and speaks:

Muffin Man: "Some people like cupcakes better. I for one care less for them."

Narrator: Arrogantly twisting the sterile canvas snoot of a fully charged icing anointment utensil, he puts forth a quarter-ounce green rosette near the summit of a dense but radiant muffin of his own design.

Later he says:

Muffin Man: "Some people, some people like cupcakes exclusively, while myself I say there is naught, nor ought there be, nothing so exalted on the face of God's gray Earth as that prince of foods...the muffin!"

Girl, you thought he was a man,

but he was a muffin,

He hung around till you found

that he didn't know nothin',

Girl, you thought he was a man,

but he only was a muffin,

No cries is heard in the night

as a result of him stuffin'

(Solo)

Girl, you thought he was a man,

but he was a muffin,

No cries is heard in the night

as a result of him stuffin'